There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize