my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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