Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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