So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize