Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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