she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize