I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You had me at "let me see your balls"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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