btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
They have beer where we have blood.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize