Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
false alarm, still single
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