Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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