I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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