just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
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Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
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He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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