WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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