Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
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