haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
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Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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