At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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