Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i think im in europe. pls send help
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize