I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
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I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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