drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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