I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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