I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize