I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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