When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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