So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
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His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
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i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize