Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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