Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
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She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
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You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize