His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
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