why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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