and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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