You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize