That's intense
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
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