I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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