white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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