I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize