I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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