Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
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She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
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We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize