If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize