In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
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