I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
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So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
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All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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