ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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