Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
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When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize