yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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