So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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