I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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