btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
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My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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