Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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