i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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