areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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