Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
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I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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