she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize