Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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