Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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